THE ABSURD TIMES — STILL

Mothers and other feats of terror

Posted in Uncategorized by @honestcharlie on February 17, 2017

THE ABSURD TIMES

From Latuff: We need only add that Trump announced that he is “the LEAST anti-Semitic person who ever lived.” This was in response to a question about his supporters painting swastikas around the country. As often said, Hitler is getting very angry at being compared to Trump.

Terrorists

By

Alan Shore, Esq.

MOTHERS

We finally can thak Donald for protecting us from the most feared terrorists of all: Mothers, especially Mexican Mothers. These perfidious agents not only produce people who went on tO become citizens, but they feed, clothe, and help educate them. There are all the things that cannot be tolerated in our society. Sure, a few of these evil mothers hide behind religion and find sanctuary in a church sometimes, but nothing will stop our administrations efforts to eradicate mothers from the face of this earth.

Witness all the mothers Trump had the Saudis gun down in Yemen. He is not fooling around. He may even have knocked off an odd mother or two in his own raid. True, it cost the taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars, but the war on mothers will prevail!

And do not forget ISIS! None of those Islamic Terrorists would be possible were it not for mothers. Mothers gave birth to these terrorists, nursed them, fed them, clothed them, and then helped educate them. Without mothers, there would be no ISIS!

BDS

Now that you have access to the Constitution, you can check out the first Amendment. Now it has been made against the law to say anything in favor of Boycotting, Divesting from, or Sanctioning Israel. So far as the amendment goes, it is unconstitutional to forbid such speech or abridge it in any way whatsoever. Sure, so-called judges on the so-called Supreme Court have said that under certain circumstances you should not, but even they did not provide for punishments.

LIES

Now sure, we have the fake news media, entities such as the failing New York Times, and also FOX (we told you so here first, although for different reasons), CNN, the Washington Post, and so on, but there are no lies in the Absurd Times, nope, never, ever! This administration did not even mention this powerhouse of information. They are afraid to. However, we have to point out that the deeds Mike Flynn did with respect to lying to the FBI is the same thing, exactly, as what Governor Blagoyovitch (sp) was convicted with. If he had just shut up and accepted his sentence, he would have spent maybe 2 years in a nice retreat of a Federal Farm instead of what he is doing now. Mike Flynn, plead guilty and get it over with.

NEWS

Back in the days of Hitler, the only comic I know of who made fun of Hitler was Charlie Chaplin who was later hounded by the House of Un-American Activities Committee. Today, it is simply too easy. Even newscasters and outlets simply have to play excerpts from his Press Conference to get a laugh. We give up. All we need to add is that the fake news is now the very fake news.

A FINAL NOTE

During the press conference, a treat to be sure for all professional comedians, Trump announced that he had won the election by more “electoral votes than anyone since Reagan.” This, of course, is an “alternate fact.” The objective facts is that every single President since Reagan with the exception of Bush Jr. won by MORE electoral votes than did Trump. When given a few examples to the contrary of his pronouncement, he responded, “well, that’s what I was told. I think I saw it somewhere too.”

I should add here that every single journalist found the entire thing amusing and ridiculous with the exception of Fox’s Shepherd Smith who was simply angry, turned to the camera, and scolded him.

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