THE ABSURD TIMES — STILL

Trump, Chicago, Cubs, God

Posted in Uncategorized by @honestcharlie on May 25, 2016

THE ABSURD TIMES

Our Media, Above

More Absurdity Abounds

By

Czar Donic, ed.

I know I promised no more on this election, I know; however, this is the Absurd Times and where better? It is our responsibility to cover the absurd, and nowhere is it more prevalent than here.

Above you see the monopoly on information distribution in the U.S. See, we do not believe in Government control of the media. Well, actually, since these corporations do own the government, perhaps we do, but at least we are not like Russian, eh? Or Egypt? No. We believe in a free press. As free as possible so long as it makes money.

So why is the election covered in such depth on U.S. media? Because it is free programming, that’s why. Same with Egypt Air. They do not have to pay royalties to the political candidates and they can charge the same for commercials. In fact, they even charge the candidates for the commercials on top of it all.

Therefore, we hear little about the fascism or National Socialism growing in Ukraine. Say what? You never heard of it? Well, of course not. Who is going to watch that when we have Donald Trump to see and hear? Never mind the few who would rather see a rerun of Barney Miller than pay any attention to Donald Trump. There are many more who are so ill-informed that they will listen to and believe anything he says.

Now he is dragging up the suicide of Vince Foster, someone Hillary Clinton may have had killed while she was first lady. Obama said that after that, Donald will turn his “attention to important things such as uncovering the moon landing fake. Now that is a good and funny line, but then Obama spent 10 years in Chicago so he has a sense of humor.

How do I know? Believe me, everyone who has spent that much time in Chicago has a sense of humor or else has relocated. This is the place that predicts the Cub’s winning the World Series of Baseball every year. The last time that happened, man invented the flying machine, later called the airplane. Once, the Cubs made it to the World Series, but a goat cursed them and they lost. Say what? You don’t believe that? Well, think about this: a few years running Cubs fans went to Arizona (spring training) and sacrificed goats. See, the reasoning was that if they killed enough goats, the Cubs would win. Right. You don’t believe that? Well, you haven’t lived 10 years in Chicago, then.

Recent news is about Albuquerque, New Mexico where people rioted outside his rally. Well, everyone has forgotten about when he wanted to hold a rally in Chicago. Essentially, Chicago told him “Forgeddabout it! Outta here! No way!” Trump stayed away. Chicken. Was it because of good taste? Nope. Trump claims to be a Republican and probably is as he is nearly as insane as his fans and Republicans do not fare well in Chicago. That’s all.

Crimea? Remember that? The descendants of Genghis Kahn? Actually, they are much better off now, although one was victorious in the Eurovision contest with a song about her grandmother being persecuted by Stalin. Any Fans of Stalin out there?

So it was time today to check out a Donald Trump speech. Sort of like expecting a Cubs victory? First, some person introduced him at length and finished with “God bless America!” He said it as if it were an order, a command. Assuming there is a God, and wondering if there is one why is there a Trump, it leaves questions as to whether God follows orders.

As Trump was speaking, I was reminded very much of when I spent some time writing satire. It was all extemporary, and one was on a very boring sports announcer named Bob Elson. The trouble with that is that boring is very difficult to make funny, and so it soon shifted to a satire on the host of a radio talk show host who was popular. Now the best thing the Cubs ever had was a radio play by play announcer named Jack Quinlin. In fact, he was so good that he won the award for best announcer five years straight. All such announcers are employees of the team and the Cubs moved him from a 5,000 watt station to a 50,000 clear-channel station that at night could be heard from the East coast to the Rockey mountains. In traditional Cubs fashion, he died in a car crash before the sixth season. No, it wasn’t him.

The person in mind was called Jack Eigen, a guy who was full of himself. We wanted to name him Jack Ego, but Mike Nichols beat us to it and nobody could top Mike Nichols, so it remained Bob Elson. Elson, during the 60s, would give long monologues on Luke Appling while the game was in progress. This was, indeed, on the radio. The satire took the form of Hockey interviews thinly disguising the names of the players.

So, Trump’s speech, what I could tolerate of it, was like Jack Ego reincarnated. The choice the above corporations will leave the U.S. with is Trump or Hillary Clinton. They complain that he will not concede and give up, but he is actually a politician who has constructive ideas, a rarity in American politics.

So, how about Israel? Israel is Jack Eigen. The Kennedy administration made it a law that all radios manufactured in the U.S. (yes, they once were) had the receive both AM and FM stations. The remedy for Israel is not a simple, but individuals can chose not to contribute by not purchasing anything from which it profits. Other postings indicate how to do this.

Das ist alles fÜr Heute.

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