THE ABSURD TIMES — STILL

Erdogan, Terrorism, Trump, Chicago and Stuff

Posted in Uncategorized by @honestcharlie on December 11, 2015

THE ABSURD TIMES

Ilustration: more about Erdogan attacking Latuff, making Latuff once again the hero of the political cartoonists.

Erdogan, Terrorism, Trump, Chicago and Stuff

By

Honest Charlie

There is simply so much that is going on, or sent on, that it seemed pointless to publish as it is so obvious, but it seems that it is not. So, here it is, a great public service.

Some deranged moron shot up a Planned Parenthood clinic and is now on trial, or at least in the judicial system. As he appeared, he had a wild grin and bulging eyes and kept shouting “I’m guilty! Say it! And add that I saved babies. Get it all out.” He was sent to a mental institution for evaluation.

Speaking of mass shootings, there was one in California, near Riverside. The neighbor, Marquez, immediately checked himself into a looney bin too. As to the others, you can’t avoid seeing them on endless coverage on BREAKING NEWS (for a week now) and the analysis starts.

The Republican Congress immediately snapped into action. Had the fiancé, Tashfeen, been asked if she has terrorist leanings at her interview? Now this is key as any terrorist would immediately confess and say “Yes, I’m going there to carry out a terrorist mission and have a baby, not in that order.” See, these terrorists are easy to spot. Just ask them and they will wilt under the pressure and confess.

Of course, Donald Trump, a confessed Republican, has announced that all Moslems should be denied entry into the country, the U.S. Well, how would you know they were terrorists? This was answered by his female in charge of publicity “Check the passports.” Well, it is not on the passport. “Well, it should be,” was the answer. Donald Trump is coming to represent the American public in the eyes of the world.

Now the Speaker of the House, third in line, second if you start from the Vice President, immediately condemned this kind of talk. However, it seems very suspicious coming from his as he wears a beard. Moslems wear beards, we all know.

James Comey, head of the FBI, and regarded the best Director since L. Patrick Grey, says encryption is the reason they can’t keep track or terrorists. See, they use “mathematical algorithms,” to hide things. Now mathematical algorithms are the worse kind, even worse than chemical or biological algorithms. Maybe they could handle a historical algorithm, but a mathematical algorithm, no way. In fact, most people don’t know what an algorithm is, much less than dispute him. In fact, an algorithm is not a program or an app, and most plots are planned face to face (or so I hear, of course I wouldn’t know, nope, not me — why I don’t even like Ohms).

To the eyes to the world: Donald Trump’s main appeal is to white people with a high school degree or less. Now the schools here are nothing to boast about, and the K-12 levels are meaningless. In sum, these people are morons and idiots.

On the other hand, a real smart guy is running against him, Ted Cruz. He says that Trump’s popularity will fall. Why? Gravity, that’s how. We all know gravity. He’s talking Newtonian gravity, I’m sure, not some new-fangled space war, nope, good old fashioned God-given gravity. We have never started the rumor that he keeps a stash of pornographic Bibles in his office, to be sure.

Some may have heard about the Mayor of Chicago, Rahm Israel Emmanuel. There are large demonstrations demanding his resignations, a multi-racial movement, and the people are wise as they are demonstrating on Michigan Avenue where all the rich people shop and own businesses. This are, of course, provides Rahm’s main support.

There is no point in trying to talk to him. He will communicate in person unlike other professional politicians, but you have to say “fuck” a lot and lace it with other interjections or he will not take you seriously. He will talk back in kind, and then say “Shut yer fuckin’ mouth,” and move on. But at least it’s a conversation.

We finally found out what Nancy Reagan meant when her solution to the drug problem was “just say NO” NO is nitrous oxide, the stuff dentists use. Non-addictive, I understand, and a lot of fun.

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2 Responses

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  1. Barry Wright said, on December 11, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Funny, aside from a few unintentionally funny typos. I proofread even my crummy everyday emails once or twice for glitches, and often find them. Your gifts shouldn’t be compromised by a few misspellings and so on, your material is too good.

    >

    Like

    • @honestcharlie said, on December 13, 2015 at 11:17 am

      I looked again and can’t find any. Oh well … . Some of the names are variants?

      Like


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