THE ABSURD TIMES — STILL

#Egypt — Piss on this Wall!

Posted in Uncategorized by @honestcharlie on September 10, 2011

Egyptians!  Prepare your Piss!

 

 

*The call went out over Facebook, rallying all Egyptians to gather in Tahrir square to piss against the wall around the Israeli embassy.  Rather than cut off relations with Israel, the Military government in Egypt build a wall around the Israeli embassy to protect it against attack.

 

*Today, or 9/9/2011, the call was to save up thy piss and come ye out to the wall and pisseth against it.  Yeah, verily, the only way to show the proper contempt.  Say, as did Ben Jonson, the Elizabethan playwright, “Thy Worst!  I fart at thee.”  [Alchemist, Act 1, Scene 1, line 2].

 

*If thou must pisseth before prayer, saveth it up in a jar and bringeth it to the wall and throwest thou thy piss against the wall!

 

*This action is not without biblical precedence and justification.  As the King James Version says:

 

1 Kings, 14.10: Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.
1 Kings, 16.11: And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.
1 Kings, 21.21: Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel,
1 Samuel, 25.22: So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
1 Samuel, 25.34: For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
2 Kings, 9.8: For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel:

 

 

*And shall Israel taketh away its dung.

 

*As the uric acid weakened the wall, then did the brave youth bring forth an improvised battering ram with full phallic extension and ramethed it against the wall.

 

*The six pointed star flag was also smartly bepissed and then burnt, a foul stench reported full well.

 

*Obama called Nitwityahoo and expressed his compassion.

 

*After that, we heard that the Israeli Ambassador was “evacuated,” a phrase that reminded me very much of a friend’s definition of envy: “Ever have constipation when the guy in the next stall has diarrhea?  That’s envy!”  Once you evacuate, the envy goes away.

 

*We should add that all the pissething references are only found in the King James version.  The original, we understand, was written in Greek, which led Nietzsche to remark that it was strange that “… when God decided to speak to man, he learned Greek, and that He did not learn it better!”

 

Not being able to read Greek, Luther’s translation was consulted and it seems to refer to the fact that men have penises, and thus are able to pisseth against the wall.  I imagine fucketh was too vulgar for that time, although scatological references were not at all a problem.

 

*In any case, the call was to piss against that wall, built by the Egyptian military.  To paraphrase Ronald Reagen, “Mr. Egypt, piss on this wall!”

 

Well, that’s enough for awhile.

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